Thursday, July 10, 2008

None of Your Bees Wax

I told you. I told you. I told you. Yesterday I predicted that Mark Mulder would throw a no-hitter. Well guess what peeps? Mulder didn't allow a hit that entire game last night. Granted, he was knocked out in the first inning after two walks and a possibly career-ending shoulder setback but I was so right. Does that mean I'm now a prognosticator? Because that sounds gross.

Try to go to any college or university in the continental U.S. and have a 5 minute conversation with a girl without her saying "I know, right?". It's impossible. My friend Jordan seems to think this is acceptable for dudes to say as well. He is wrong.

Happy Don't Step on a Bee Day. By the way, have we figured out what was causing all the bees to disappear? Surprisingly, The Happening never explained the answer. I do know that Howard Stern is very concerned about this issue. That's what happens when you have more money than you can possibly spend and you're engaged to a supermodel. You start worrying about bees. I'm worried about filling my car with gas and keeping my character's ERA lower than 1.00 in MLB: The Show.

It bothers me when this exchange occurs:

Know it all: I was watching (a movie) last night. God, I haven't seen that movie in forever.

Dum dum: Oh really? I've never seen that movie. Is it good? I should check it out.

Know it aller: You haven't see that movie? SHUT UP! You really haven't seen it?

Dum dummer: Nope. I think you're so cool that you've seen/heard something that I haven't. Can I buy you a new belt?

Alright, that last part probably doesn't happen. But who cares? This happens more often than you would ordinarily think. Sure, go ahead and suggest something. But don't make the other person feel stupid. Most people don't want to watch or listen to your stupid preferences anyway. I say this as I generally will give out musical suggestions once a week. But feel free to call me a hippie wannabe and suggest that I listen to at least one classic rock album before I tell you the importance of My Morning Jacket. And really, My Morning Jacket isn't that important. Don't let your aspiring local entertainment section newspaper reporter fool you.

But really, it is rather enjoyable to listen to their music.

Later haters.

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