Monday, September 15, 2008

Blowin' In The Wind

I'm even starting today's blog in the morning. I never start writing in the morning. The morning should be reserved for yawning, being mad at the world, and picking eye boogers. How many did I gross out? Channeling John McCain, but not today friends. You know who else calls you friend? The hostess at Steak n' Shake. My friend Scotty and I went to the Paducah location a couple of months ago and she greeted us by saying "Hello friends. Welcome to Steak n' Shake." The joke was on her, however, because I'd never even met that girl before. She had two less friends than she thought she really had. She should have applied for this show. ANYWAY, I have some things to share this morning. For one, my apartment almost got blown away yesterday.

Kentucky's hurricane season hit yesterday morning. These seasons don't usually last long, but watch out! Your bluegrass might get uprooted. I woke up to a loud banging yesterday morning... is that what she said? (ANNOUNCER: New season of The Office coming September 25th! What will happen between Jim and Pam? Why did we have to see Dwight with his shirt off? Why do the writers think that anyone cares about what happens to Ryan? Wait, why are we still watching this show? September 25th! On NBC.) No, my window was a little loose and it was the best alarm clock ever. If I could only manufacture 75 mph winds every morning with a loose window then it would be on like Donkey Kong. I just had to erase Donkey Dong and replace it with Donkey Kong. Whoops. Oh, and click on that link if you're bored. One of the awesomest documentaries ever. Anyhoo, Mother Nature created a bit of a mess yesterday. Trees joining families for dinner, power outages, and radio stations not giving people their fill of Katy Perry. I'm not sure which of those scenarios is worse.
This is our station during the madness. It's supposed to depict the magnitude of the wind, but all I can notice is the lack of shrubbery.

So I try to get some breakfast yesterday. At noon. IHOP was packed. Cracker Barrel was crowded. So I went to this little waffle diner down the road. I walked in because there were people inside but it didn't dawn on me until I was already sitting down that the power was out. No music + not a lot of people + sitting in the dark = uncomfortability. I'm pretty sure I just invented that word. So the waitress tells me no waffles at the Waffle Hut. And let me tell you, the Hut as a restaurant name doesn't have quite the same gravitas. I get pancakes instead and I was very satisfied with this decision. So I'm almost done eating before I realize that the Hut probably wasn't going to accept credit cards because they had no power. I'm totally one of those guys that never carries cash. I use my card for everything. In fact, I'm pretty sure the gas station down the street is about tired of me buying my Powerades with my debit card almost every day. Let me just say, I DID NOT want to wash the Hut's dishes. I've seen those movies and they never have a happy ending. In an ideal world, I could've gone across the street and received some cash money from an ATM. No power. Luckily I did have one dollar on me, so the rest of the supply was hinging on the Caddy's infinite coin supply. Our lovely waitress allowed me to go to my car and get some more fundage. I looked under seats, in the glove box, in the trunk and eventually got enough money to pay the poor woman. Even a tip! I totally paid this poor woman in pennies. It was embarrassing to say the least. The incident totally reminded me of college when on Sundays I would have to fend for myself because the school's cafeteria wasn't open. I had to find enough change to get a nutritious meal at Taco Hell.

Oh, I watched V for Vendetta yesterday afternoon. Once again, better than watching the Rams. This movie always puts me in more of a Libertarian sort of mood. I leave you with this quote.

Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of Liberty. – Thomas Jefferson

1 comment:

JM said...

Gravitas might just be my favorite word. Top five at the very least.